Blog | Justin Mulvaney

Nobody thought running a 4-minute mile was possible, until somebody did it. Within a few years, all sorts of people were doing it!

You’re probably capable of far more than you realize. Raise your ceiling of possibility. In doing so, you’ll raise everybody else’s too.

No real influencer has ever referred to herself as an influencer, visionaries don’t think of themselves as visionary, and thought leaders wouldn’t be thought leaders for long if they started calling themselves that.

Focus on doing the work. Let others bestow titles.

How often, when we decide to learn a new skill, start a new project, or try something new, do we acknowledge the effectiveness of our goal and the system we build around it?

“I want to learn piano” – vague and meaningless. It won’t help you adhere to a practice and it provides for no sense of accomplishment.

“I want to weigh 160lbs at 10% bodyfay” – better, but you have a narrow margin between “too easy to provide motivation” and “so hard it discourages me”. Not useful for starting up.

Consider starting with quantified intent:

You don’t need to master the songs, and the workouts don’t have to be long or hard. Commit to showing up. Quantifiable, easy to win, and still positive even if you fail.

With nearly universally applicability, this principle is probably one of the most valuable you can apply to your life.

Forming a relationship? Seek first to understand the other person.

Building a business? Seek first to understand the problem and the people you’re solving it for.

Creating art? Seek first to understand your vision and who you’re making it for.

Seeking fulfillment? Seek first to understand yourself.

Regardless of your aim, take the time to understand the essence of it.

(If you’re looking for more on this thought, see Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s half of one of the habits.)

A good heuristic for your ability to grow- Can you change your mind when presented with a good argument?

It’s not likely to win you an election, but it will almost definitely spur intellectual and emotional growth.

Have you ever read, watched, or listened to something that resonates at such a profound level that you wonder how you lived your entire life to that point without finding it?

Perhaps it perfectly articulates a deeply held belief of yours, simplifying it down to its very essence. Maybe it reveals a perspective you’ve never considered but, now that you know, can’t imagine life without. Either way, you’re certain you’ll never forget it.

Steven Pressfield (author of The War of Art and Do the Work) recently released a new book about his journey as a writer called Nobody Wants to Read Your Sh*t. Here are some of his words that I found myself screaming yes to:

“What you learn in Wrong Career #1 will serve you in Off-Key Career #2 and in Out-of-Kilter Career #3 and the wisdom you acquire in #1, #2, and #3, will form the foundation of Real Calling #4 (or #5 or #6 or however long it takes.)“

I’ve recently had a fascination with social pressure and the different ways it operates. Generally, I experience two kinds of social pressure in my life:

Need an example? I work with a  group of brilliant people, all with unique work styles that are much different than my own. They often work in 2-4 hour chunks, (maybe) take lunch , and continue at breakneck speed for the entirety of the day.

Me? I prefer to work in 45 minute chunks before I have a stretch and maybe talk to a friend in the next room. I like to take a nice lunch break and then move to a cafe for the afternoon where I’ll eventually go for a relaxing walk.

You know how often my days look like this? Maybe 5% of the time. Why? I assume I’d look like a slacker to the rest of the team, given their work styles. Reasons why this is stupid:

Engage in this exercise the next time you’re feeling social pressure- Is it real, or are your emotions telling you a story, probably a lie?

All too often it seems as if life has placed only a few predetermined paths before us. These paths are on the rails, socially generated, and take little thought. In this situation, it’s not obvious that there’s much of a decision to be made. Of the choices available, a lone questions emerges- Which one is best?

We can question why only these paths are open to us. When we do, we come to realize that our vision has been restricted, that while we’ve only been directed to see two or three paths, there are hundreds of them before us, each one unique, compelling, and open for us to pursue.

At this point, the question “Which one is best?” fails. We can’t individually inspect every option and find the one which emerges above them all. A selection process emerges, fueled by the question, “What do I want?”

When we ask this question, it’s unlikely any of the paths will do. Some will come close, but there will always be cognitive dissonance when applying a preconfigured path to the fluid notion of what we want.

The not so obvious next step: dismiss the notion of paths all together, and acknowledge that there is only a landscape. There is only time stretching forward, and you are free to use it however you’d like.

The question that remains- What will you do?

Much of the time when we try to be empathetic, we do it all wrong. When someone is struggling our default is to find the closest situation we’ve experienced and apply it directly: “What they’re going through sounds like when I went through _____.”

We pull their emotional experience to ours, wrongly diagnosing the issue and prescribing them a solution to a completely different problem: “When I went through X, I did Y. Just do that!“

We do this because it’s comfortable. We’re knowledgeable of our personal experience, and there’s certainty in that knowledge. This comfort-seeking, as it does much of the time, kills the beauty and possibility of the moment, the opportunity for connection and collaboration.

What if, instead of pulling, we reached our emotional experience out to theirs? What if we leapt from our comfort zone into uncertainty, leaving knowledge behind and opening ourselves to their experience? In merely admitting their situation is different, we allow for true listening, true understanding, and the cooperation necessitated by it.

Not only will the effort be appreciated, but the solution will often reveal itself. Most people don’t actually need your help finding the solution, they just need someone to listen and help clear the emotional fog. All we need to do is provide the psychological air necessary.

“I have a commitment problem”

If you feel trapped by commitment, it’s probably because either:

Good to understand when to say no.