How often do we set out with the intention to change something in our lives and fail miserably?
We set an intention to clean up our eating, drink less, face our fears, be more productive, and then, in the face of temptation, fall back into our old ways. One way to model intention is viewing it as a means to change while being compassionate with ourselves. We intend to change, but it’s okay if we fail.
The problem with that model? It makes change a a function of willpower. We’ve left ourselves an out. We’ve begun by telling ourselves that it’s okay if we slip.
What if we moved from willpower to discipline? From intention to rules? Think about it this- for all of you non-smokers out there, how often do you find yourself smoking after a long day? How often do you find yourself drinking and driving? If you’ve ever quit any unhealthy food (say soda), how often do you find yourself drinking soda?
The answer (if it’s a rule): You don’t. You don’tallow it.
It’s a line you don’t cross. You don’t even allow for the option.
This is not some grand life hack- it’s a simple decision about mindset. When you want to change, do you set out with intention, or with decision and discipline? When you decide to commit to rules, there’s no need to worry about compassion for yourself. You won’t let yourself slip, and that is the ultimate gift you can give.