I’ve been thinking a lot lately about one simple question or, more accurate, one simple word: why.
Modern advice points broadly to one fact: know your why. Stated without any means to getting there, as if this is a simple task!
Getting to know your why seems like a task for a lifetime in itself. Why do you get out of bed in the morning? Why do you eat? Why do you speak? Why do you speak what you speak? Aside from simply being a conscious being programmed to survive, why do you do what you do?
Solely art and not-at-all science, the answer comes from relentless self-exploration, discovery, and creation. There is no blueprint. There is only comfort & discomfort, knowing & not-knowing, infinite presence and mindfulness and development.
Also a brutal honesty- the ability to admit you don’t know your why and to continue anyway. An utter necessity and brutally painful combination. It’s unclear to me how you come out of this in tact— to abandon meaning, to abandon hope, but to cling to the possibility that, in the end, it exists.