It’s a long held theory of mine: We say the kindest, most beautiful things about people in our lives, but often forget to say it to the people themselves.
It’s a strange twist of fate. We have every reason to tell the person that we’re talking about what we said. These moments aren’t gossip, they’re quite the opposite. The same kind of cutting honesty that arises from gossip gets flipped on its head into a wonderfully candid authenticity.
Think about it- how often do you give an absolutely glowing review of someone, but never get around to saying all of those wonderful things to the person his/herself?
There’s little more we can give to others than the knowledge that they are truly and honestly valued. Let them know.
3 Comments
I have long held this belief, and when a person puts it into practice this positive response to others will gift you twice; first, it feels good to make others feel good and second, you will open a dialogue in which you will receive more positive feedback on the things you are doing right or well.
This may seem like a small thing but viewed in a wider perspective, if (on average) you give 3 sincere compliments a day (to coworkers, friends, people who wait on you in stores, bars, restaurants…the dentist, wherever,) for one year, at the end of that year you will have made over 1,000 people feel better. Now imagine what would happen if you convinced 9 others to do the same thing, you and your positive coalition could lift the spirits of over 100,000 people! I have seen (and been part of) the change of both internal and external cultures through kindness.
I love and support this thought process and hope you have experienced me as having a high opinion and appreciation for your strengths and many abilities over the time that you have known me. 🙂
Beth, Kindness Warrior
I was thinking you’d appreciate this perspective as I was writing this. This is so clearly a philosophy you live by- genuine appreciation. You are better at it than nearly anyone I know, and it certainly doesn’t go unappreciated.
What an amazing compliment, you have made my day. Thank you sweetheart!